And loneliness sets in…..

Can I take a moment and be self centered?

Ian has been away now for 9 days. I woke up this morning with a huge lump in my throat and the feeling of not being able to breathe. Yep, you got  it loneliness has set in and I am missing him terribly. The thought of 4 more full days without him his more than I can bare today. I think I’m having such a hard time right now is because the last few days I’ve hardly communicated with him. I can usually catch him online at work or email back and forth, but he has been so busy that he hasn’t been able to. I know he’s busy, but it hurts me when we can’t communicate and all I get is a one word sentence explaining why he’s so silent. But doesn’t he understand that I don’t have the distractions here like he does, all around me is a constant reminder that he’s not here. Kids asking me when Daddy’s going to get home, I miss Daddy, I want Daddy…. And all I can say is "I know sweetie, Mommy does too.."

I know I should be grateful that I’m not married to someone who has to be away for months at a time, but for today, I just want to be selfish and feel sorry for myself.

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5 Responses

  1. Here’s a HUG to you girl! Go ahead and feel sorry for yourself.

  2. Awww….((HUGS)). You go right ahead and feel sorry if you need to.

  3. i’m sending you hugs your way dear! i so understand how you feel, too. it’s hard as hell! let me know if you need anything. i wish i wasn’t so darn busy this week to come over & hang. maybe you & the gurls can come by tomorrow. i should’ve invited you over today & wasn’t thinking straight, w/ all the stuff i’ve been doing!!!

    sending you lots of (((HUGS)))!

  4. Sara, your post made me remember the time in Atlanta when we were sitting together, resting our tired feet and you called home…remember that? You were in tears, missing your family. I was so touched by that moment, and as we shared a hug afterwards, I thought how lucky you are. Yes, lucky…even though you were missing your loved ones terribly, the love you share was shining through in your eyes and in your heart. As hard as it is for you to be alone right now, think how lucky you are to love someone so much! It is a beautiful thing! So hang in there…it’s almost over and soon you will be welcoming Ian home.

  5. I’m so sorry I missed this post, Sara! Ian’s home now and I know you are feeling better, but always remember I am here for you, my friend! (((HUGS)))

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